'I'm getting constant stick' over the series finishing before I get there.
Sunshine, meat pies and world-famous cricket grounds - what more could an Three Lions follower possibly want?
Well, perhaps an Ashes series in Australia where they still have a chance to secure the famous trophy once the opening games are done.
That will not be happening during this tour, after Australia's crushing victory by 82 runs in Adelaide gave Australia leading three-nil for the fourth successive Ashes series on their own soil.
The Barmy Army, the organized fan base, have a large group flying out for the last two matches in Sydney and Melbourne.
In addition, there are organized trips who will spend the Christmas period in Australia, as well as relatives and companions heading for a special expedition.
The Ryding Siblings
The Ryding siblings are four such fans.
The four siblings had their flights and tickets secured for the fourth and fifth Tests "well ahead of time", dreaming of a rare England series success.
Instead, they have watched Australia dismantle the tourists in just under two weeks from their residence in the north of England.
"Everyone at work has been giving me grief that the series is done for the last two weeks," commented one sibling.
"The hope was that we would have a meaningful contest upon our arrival."
Diminishing Hope
Optimism was high about England's chances of breaking a 15-year drought for a victory down under prior to the first ball.
But they are now looking at the possibility of continuing a barren spell in the country to 19 consecutive Tests when the Boxing Day Test begins in Melbourne on Thursday, 25 December.
Ben Stokes' side - and their supporters - will be keen to prevent a whitewash.
Alex said the "thrill and enjoyment" of head coach the positive style of play in recent times had "renewed interest in" the longest format for English supporters.
Yet the fans said they had low expectations for the remaining matches - and all they are asking for from the players is "a show of spirit".
"Commentators consistently alludes to it, but it all comes down to fortitude. 'The aggressive approach has been turned into a buzzword now that is just, like, nonsense cricket," commented another sibling.
"During a long match, you should dig in. Playing at deliveries 'outside the line has not been part of the fundamentals, and that is largely because of the batting lineup."
The Remaining Matches
When questioned if he believed England will triumph in a Test in this Ashes series, Sam said: "The evidence suggests the Aussies are just too good currently."
"Necessarily, there must be several individuals that makes a significant contribution and produces a match-winning display."
Regardless of the result, the fans are looking forward to the trip.
"It will be a fantastic experience anyway," added another sibling. "Our approach is that attitude."
"Obviously it is disappointing we don't have more to play for, but we have spent so much money already."
"We plan to savor spending the festive season in Australia. Additionally, it's mine and Rory's first time abroad at this time of year."
A schoolteacher, Katie is intent on maximizing the 21,000-mile round-trip as part of her time off.
"If all else fails, I can play golf to turn to," she added.